Dr. Joseph Suglia, Author of WATCH OUT

The first author to brave Danger was the illustrious Dr. Joseph Suglia, author of WATCH OUT and greatest author in the world (just reference his MySpace page). Check him out, then buy his book.

DD: What is your favorite word, and why? Least favorite?

JS: My favorite word is “to auto-sodomize.” My least favorite word is “to stymie.”

DD: If you had to carry out a murder, what would be your weapon of choice?

JS: A corn holder.

DD: In the shower, do you sing or is it just straightforward washing?

JS: I sing, I warble, I burble, I babble on my Shower-Phone, I cook food in my waterproof microwave, I lather my perineum, I bathe my pigeons.

DD: In a world full of alter ego superheroes, what would be your name?

JS: “The Him.”

DD: Which body part would you choose to lose?

JS: My head. I wouldn’t mind decapitation, as long as my luscious body remained intact.

DD: What is your favorite Beatles song?

JS: The Beatles are the most overestimated band in rock-musical history. The first 1.5 minutes of “Happiness is a Warm Gun” are superb; everything else they manufactured is sound-dross.

DD: Is meat really murder?

JS: Meat, in itself, is not murder, but it may be used as a weapon. A moist steak is more annihilative than an AK-47, a hand grenade, or a land mine.

DD: Do you prefer fucking, sex or making love?

JS: I prefer none of the above. I am married to myself. I have entangled myself in the coils of lust. I am my own Significant Other, my own mistress, my own concubine, and my own wife. No one concerns me but myself.

DD: Which author would you choose to write the story of your life?

JS: No one will ever write the story of my life. I will leave no memoirs. My life is a vortex that swallows itself.

DD: Finally, what is your favorite book and why do you recommend it?

JS: WATCH OUT by Dr. Joseph Suglia, for it is far and away the greatest novel of the past thirty years. I say this not as the book’s author, but as a literary critic. It is also the principal accomplishment of my life.

Liza Palmer

Liza Palmer is the author of Conversations with the Fat Girl and an all-around interesting person. You can visit her website at www.lizapalmer.com.

DD: What is your favorite word and why? Least favorite?

LP: Favorite? Flagon. It just sounds exactly like what it is. Used to be fond of “ladybug”. Went through an “apocalypse” phase. Now? Flagon.
Least favorite? Don’t have one. Words are luscious, beautiful little things.

DD: If you had to carry out a murder, what would be your weapon of
choice?

LP: I’m a lover not a fighter.

DD: In the shower, do you sing or is it just straightforward washing?

LP: Shower?

DD: In a world full of alter ego superheroes, what would be your name
and power?

LP: Dodgey McVague. My power would be not to have a power, kind of.

DD: Which bodypart would you choose to lose?

LP: This is hypothetical, right? I mean, someone’s not going to show up at my doorstep and be all, “You said you could do without your head, Ms. Palmer! And since you didn’t answer the whole murder question, Ms. Lover Not a Fighter? And you don’t even fancy yourself a superhero, Dodgey McVague — it’s time to pay up.” Thwack. So … hypothetical? Umm, just to be on the safe side, I’m going to go with my Inner Child. I could do without my Inner Child.

DD: What is your favorite Beatles song?

LP: “I’ve Got a Feeling.” No question.

DD: Is meat really murder?

LP: I’m thinking it’s pretty cut and dry for those on the other end of the whole “getting slaughtered” thing.

DD: Do you prefer fucking, sex or making love?

LP: See aforementioned murder answer. Not that I prefer murder to the above, but … well … FLAGON FLAGON FLAGON.

DD: Which author would you choose to write the story of your life?

LP: I’d have Ken Burns do a documentary.

DD: Finally, what is your favorite book and why do you recommend it?

LP: This is an impossible question to answer! There are factors. What mood am I in? What’s happening in my life? A book is directly related to a certain time in one’s life. That’s the magic. The right book always finds you when you need it. So, I await the next one — the next perfect book that will transport me to worlds unknown just when I need it.